Medication faux pas

Last night, i tried going without medication. Was worried at first that another attack would come on but told myself to relax. One noticeable change is that i can't sleep that easily which is normal for me since before being diagnosed, i have trouble sleeping too.


I didn't want to be on medication because it made my emotions unbalanced. Since it's supposed to keep me calm, i'll feel relax 24/7. But my happy emotion would be exaggerated when im on medication and someone made me naturally happy. Get what i mean? That means my happiness would be exagerated.


Also, while on medication, my anger would only be mild anger instead of my usual destructive self. I mean, that is a good thing but my emotions have to be balanced right? I don't want to be over happy and mildly mad. I want to be either over happy or over mad. Get what i mean?


So anyway, anti-depressants do have their side effects you know because its drugs. But the side effects seem so suspiciously familiar. hmm...


Anyway, i can say that im getting better. (=