Because maybe i should get a new boyfriend.

"Eventually all the pieces will fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment and just know that everything happens for a reason"

I found out something about myself today because i asked and he told me in the most nicest and kindest way ever. ( though what i found out wasn't nice. ) Even his voice was soothing to the point that i can sleep with him just talking to me. I LIKE!!!! (=

Of course i keep telling myself that things are going to get better and all this misery is happening for a reason but then again, Time is refusing to show me all the answers!!

So mean right? Because here i am struggling with matters of the heart and the million dollar question that i keep asking myself is "To cry, or not to cry."

And the answer is always "Not to cry" but i am a silly old coot who is chin-deep with confusion therefore i tend to have this extra and unwanted negative feelings that seem to swallow me and make me think that he is such a bad, bad man. ( lol )

But after today, the mist finally cleared itself because i realised that so many things are actually my own undoing. I listened more to my heart than to my brain. And this, is the most ironic part because, as an Engineer-in-training, it is subconsciously drilled into us that everything is solved by analysis and logic but when it comes to matters of the heart, here i am spouting rubbish and living in misery.

Alright! I wanna go clear up the air and send an apology email to this particular tall, dark and handsome guy and make him see what a bad, bad girl that i am. ( but doesn't bad, bad man + bad, bad girl = to a perfect match???) No wonder Santa doesn't love me, ive been naughty! ( and in so many meanings than one! )