You got me trippin'

Woke up today with a power trip. Its like power trips are happening so often at home. The cause of it must be from the plug in my room. And while doing this post, another power trip happened and i was left in the room in the dark. Some scary shit man.


Anyway, school sucks today. They do everyday but you can say today was the worse. First lesson of the day was the hateful A maths. Parabola. Like what-the-heck is it and why-the-fuck do i need to learn about all these technical rubbish? And to make things worse, announcement for Quiz one has already been circulated. That means that it'll be in 2 weeks time, the blardy test. ~sigh~ tough life. well, not so. (=


It was lunch time straight after maths lesson and, we just had to be so unlucky to be with the loser group. Lucky for the both of us, we managed to snagged two seats so they have to seperate themselves from us. And after lunch, its electronics practical. Not only i don't remember any shit from the first semester, PPP (short form for our lecturer's name.) never teach a single thing. So i was lost in the class. Until Yeshun went around copying that is.


heh heh.


Since practical class ended early, bryant and i made our way down to the library, he for some Fifa game with Jing Xiong, and me for some checking of mails. And we came to Mechanics class late because of the game. I actually took a nap in Mechanics class when its not a habit of mine to sleep in class no matter how tired i am. Well, after waking up, i find it no point to listen so i plugged in my earphone and on my hp's music player. ~sigh~


Well, the power nap actually helped because i did not sleep in the bus and get myself lost on the way to Ang Mo Kio. Went there to have a meal with Mr. Kwat and Abg Muz.



And on the way home, the father actually called me to say that he wants me to follow to fetch the brother. Like what-the-heck man. I already said no but you act as if i said yes. Of course i was in a bad mood then. Until now. Remembering it still makes my blood boil.


I decided to not talk to the parents any more. Unless there's something important. I decided to be my old, reclusive self. The parents have been making my blood boil lately. Especially the mother. It's like i want to tell her things but she'll always rebuke me. And later, use it against me. No wonder my tolerance level for her has lowered.


Uuurgh! Im sooo gonna be the same as when i was in lower secondary. No doubt about it. Furthermore with my room made into a chilling corner, i can have my own personal space with the dumb ass music blasting out loud. These things would normally occur only when you begun your teenage years but it seems like for me, its the starting and ending of my teenage years that i have problems with the parents.



I mean its obviously my fault since im so god-damned impatient and rebellious but what-the-heck. I have a motto in life and im sticking to it.



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Anyway, had a talk with Bryant over lunch and he told me stuffs that i didn't bother addressing. Like for example, he said that im not focussed in life. I realised that's true and it stems from the fact that since i can get and already have everything i wanted in life, so i don't look forward to anything any more. You can say that im JADED. Because you see, the brother had to work hard to get into Poly, while i just have to flip a few pages of the book and im done-ded and can get into the same institution too. AND that's, only one example.


Furthermore, it comes to the point where i don't appreciate things any more. And i get things to possess and not to own. And to make things worse, i know i can make it big in life and im gona be one helluva sick person when i have all the worldly possession.


It's really a very sickening feeling to know that you're that type of person. It feels so messed up. It's like YOUR character. I really hate feeling this way and i know it can be changed but i really know no shit about being "normal".

THIS IS REALLY SOME SICK SHIT.

And im starting to hate myself.